Rear-View Mirror, Beware.

I'm going to take my Rear-View Mirror...
And break it.


Like this.

And I will no longer look behind me.
And if I do, I will have to consciously turn my head at an awkward angle
which would take mental effort.
Which I have the control to stop.

But when I'm driving and I accidentally see his stupid face in the corner of my eye
I begin to swerve and hit curbs and hurt you.
And I'm done doing that.

So I'm taking a nine-iron and breaking that thing.
I will not accidentally see him anymore.

So now you can FINALLY know
that I'm yours.
Because I am.

And if I'm not, then it's actually going to take some effort on my part to not be.
You're in my passenger seat.
With your seatbelt buckled.
And I might be going 40 over the speed limit
Just to try and get away from him...
But I won't see his face anymore.
I won't.
I will just squeeze your hand and push the gas pedal even closer to the floor.

It's just you and me.
And this long empty road.

Whether or not you're in baby...
I'm in.

And I'm not stopping for anything. Or anyone.

i love you... more than you know..... you are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.
i could LITERALLLLLYYYY kiss you FOREVER!!!!!!
i am your good and you are my great.. and i love it... like i really do..

gahh you're amazing :)

Dear Un-Read Blog.

I think your blog was kinda like this. ^

And this whole time I never realized why you were so...
Mad?
Pissed?
Distant?

I mean, you were being a dick and you never told me why.
And I got so sick of it.
SO sick of it.
I just figured you hated me and I gave up a little bit.
Okay... I totally gave up.
On top of every-freakin-thing, I just gave up.

And now you're doing it right now.
Not talking... being... awkward?
It's my fault, too.

I think.

There's no recent blogs from you.
So I can't figure this one out.

But I know you hated "the fake."
and then suddenly...

You hated me.
I don't know what the hell I did.
My blog...
My terrible teenage poetry.
That did it I guess.

Well, you know what I've got to say now?
I'm happy.
Happy as hell.

And if you can't accept that...
accept HIM.
Then you're not the friend I thought you were.
You're not.

And the way you're acting... I'm just not going to deal with.
I'm sorry that the five minutes I spend spilling my overflow onto this keyboard offends you.
But you're going to have to freaking deal with it.

And no.
It's not good poetry.

It's GOD AWFUL.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT POETRY.

It's a blog.

So you can just press Esc now, because these words will never be good enough.
I decided, though, that you were worth a mad blog post.
And if it pops your balloon, then I'll just have you know you stabbed holes in mine.

Don't say any other guy in the world is any worse than you.
You're no God.
If I'm not mistaken, you're the reason my world kinda toppled over.
And I know you're freakin' proud of it.

I don't know where I'm going with this.
I'm just typing.
typing.
typing.

You aren't being fair.
And I'm not either...
or am I?

Screw it.
I'm done.

PUBLISH POST.

Sing.

Just... sing to me.
Forever and always.
If melody is my destiny,
then what's left of me...
I'll give to you.

Can I have my cake?
...Can I have you too?
<3

I get chills thinking about how much I love you.
Our moments are so damn perfect.
I could sit there...
On the very edge of kissing your lips.
Forever.
I love how we could sit there...
with just millimeters between our love bitten lips.
Breathing eachother's breaths.
Our brown eyes tied together by invisible string.

I'm having trouble typing,
I'm busy swimming in that moment.

You.
Singing.
To. Me.

That's where I want to be.

Me.
Singing.
To. You.

That's where I want to be.

because it's in the song that I find my home.
My comfort.
And it's in you.

I love you.
I really, really do.

Hold my hand.

Will you hold my hand?
Because that warmth fights the frostbite of my heart.
(That was an emo statement)
But you know how much I need you...
How much I need EVERYONE in my life.

Like my best friend.
Who I hung out with yesterday for the first time in too long.
And taking pictures is enough to refresh us.
We feed off eachother's happiness.
Girl... When you're sad, I'm sad.
And when you're happy, I'm happy.
You will be my best friend...
My bridesmaid...
My sister for the rest of my life.
And when we're old we can do crazy makeup and take pictures.
And we'll reminisce on these times.
These days.
So lets have more of these days!
Lets push our life to fit eachother more.
I miss you.
So much. I really do.
You're my favorite. <3
Hold my hand? I'll hold yours.
We'll get through this together.


And YOU, my boy...
You're just too good to be true.
Thank you for spoiling me rotten. :)
It's making me so happy, I could pee my pants.
Thank you for supporting me in EVERYTHING I do.
I know it's crazy.
I know I'M crazy.
But I love you.
I do. I do. <3

Montheversary.

A teen titans backpack.
A christmas teddy bear.
A hundred kit-kats.
A bar of soap.

And a long loving note.


Aren't you just the romantic? :)

We fought today.
Over whether or not I treated you like a dog on a leash.
And then you said you might be going to a party.
And you know how parties don't go over well with me.
And you said you most likely wouldn't drink.

And I'll just honestly say, I didn't believe you for a second.

So I got mad.
And I snapped.
I SERIOUSLY snapped at you.

I'm still sorry about that.
What I said...
I didn't mean it.

I keep doing that!

I don't know why.
I'm just in love and I don't like it.

Haha:)

That's it.

I'm in love and hating it.
Hahaha I LOVE YOU.
And it's a problem because I'm so terrified and there are so many walls around me that YOU have to break down.
And there are so many walls around me that only I can break down. ON MY OWN.
And I don't want to.
It's gonna hurt. :/
I just know it will.

But...


I want it.
I want you.
And it's so weird because two years ago I couldn't EVER imagine saying this.
to YOU!
Where the hell did you come from?
Like honestly. :)

I couldn't ask for more.
I couldn't.

And when I glance at him...
because it's no secret that I do...
I think about how much better you are.
How you ACTUALLY love me.
You do.
And you tell me all the time.
And I love you.
And I try to tell you all the time.
And your arms are the ones I seek when I glance at him and it hits me...
I run into a wall.
It's you that I run to.
And I love having you.
I love it.

And I love you.
I love you.
I do.

And it feels so terrifyingly beautiful to admit this.
So...
I'm in :)
For the next million months.
Every 18th coming our way.
Those are OUR days.

I LOVE YOU.

Wishing.

Wishing.

I blow the dandelion to pieces.
I throw the penny into the well.
I blow your eyelash from the tip of my thumb.
I watch the star flash in and out of sight.

Wishing.

I find myself in this wishful state of mind-
during passing periods.
waiting in the car for you.
those last minutes before sleep.
those first minutes of awakeness.
Wishing my alarm had not gone off.
Wishing I could push snooze one more time.
Wishing my stomach felt happy not sad.
Wishing that waking up wasn't so hard.

Sometimes I don't want to get up at all.
Ever.
Actually... I never ever want to get up.
I would lie in that cotton sanctuary until the day that I died.
If only I could push snooze that many times.

Snooze.
Snooze.
Snooze.

I was going to...

Write a cute blog about how much I love you.
And then...
I realized there was no way in hell I had the energy.



So I love you.

Honeymoon Phase.

So perfect.
That's us--right there.
"Just Married."
And the honeymoon phase has been glorious.

But we're home now.
And we have to pay bills.
And we have to go to school.
And go to work.

I work at TSTDC Inc.
You work at Wrestling & Dance Co.
We do have meetings at Jazz/Mad Center sometimes.
But I mean, we're pretty separated.
Lunch together every weekday though!
That's nice.

But we don't really get to come home to each other.
Oh, the flaws of High School Marriages.
We sometimes have weekends!
Well, when I get weekends off from work.
Church though!
But who falls in love at church... :)

I don't know.
I think I'm getting scared.
It's not all butterflies and fancy buffets-
No more mints on our pillows.
We're home now.

And the ring on my finger still spurs my heart to racing.
I look in your eyes and I'm lost.
Holding me close, THAT is my home.
Your voice... OHHHHH YOUR VOICE!
I could listen to that on repeat for the rest of my life.
I swear, I could.

Thinking about it makes me lose my breath.
I'm lost in you.
Straight up, lost.

I don't care that the odds are against us.
Baby, you're my everything.
Baby you're the best.
The best I ever had. <3

Sorry about that.

Anyways, I don't care that the odds are against us.
I'm ready to push through.
It takes some brick walls to see how much you really want it.
Are we gonna break them?
I'm bracing myself.
Hold my hand?
Let's break them down together.
Even without months of seeing your face, I'd at least see you in my dreams.
I will always love you.
Always.
And when the world comes crashing down around us-
We'll still be together.
And we can make it.

I'm ready to give all that I've got.
How about you, my love?

Sitting at your desk.

Sitting at your overly cluttered desk.
Falling in love with the mess that is you.
Dirty dishes...
Hand cuffs?
Muscle rub.

Roller Coaster.

I'm your own personal roller coaster.
I love to build up and up and up
Until we can see the rooftops of the skyscrapers...
But there's always a down.
A hurtling, spinning, screaming down.

I don't mean to...
It just always happens.
You have to understand, this roller coaster has no control.
The gears are all broken.
This one is just relying on the laws of physics.

So strap yourself in.
We may be hanging upside down, but I'll hold onto you.
We might get halfway up that hill and then roll backwards down it...
but we can always push our way back up.

It might be bumpy in some places.
It's not brand new, you know.
but I want to be your favorite thrill.
And I want to make the winged creatures in your tummy flutter.
I want you to not know whats next.

I want you to just hang on so tightly...
Please don't ever let go.


I'm in.
I am willing to close my eyes and fly down this steep hill.
I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and scream.
I'm ready to do whatever it takes- it's gonna take alot.
But guess what...
This little red panic button?
I'm not gonna push it.
Not even if this roller coaster takes me halfway to the end of the world.
I'm holding on.
I'm riding.
I'm in.

I bought a Lifetime Pass.

How about you?
Are you in?

Sunflower Prince.

I love yellow flowers.
Sunflowers, especially.

And you know what?
That other prince was a... daffodil.
Yellow? Yes.
Sunflower? No.

it just didn't fit.

And that other one...
Well he was a plastic flower.

So that obviously didn't fit either.


But you.
You, you, you.
You are my sunflower.
My favorite type of flower.

A strong core with lots of seeds to spread love with.
A strong heart with lots of strength to spread love with.

A strong stem to hold itself up.
A strong heart to hold me up.

And soft yellow petals to absorb the sunlight.
And a soft heart to absorb my love.

I would swim in a sea of YOU.
In a sunflower orchard.

I would live there- in a little yellow cottage.
Wearing little sun dresses.
With flowers forever in my hair.
Your fingers weaving your way through my hair.
And your sweet smell in my lungs.
Your sweet breath in my lungs.
The petals would brush my finger tips.
Your love would kiss my tender lips.
I'd roll around and dive into the yellow ocean.
I'd snuggle my nose into your loving arms.

I'd be happy forever.
It'd be my happily ever after.

Are you my Prince?
The one who will whisk me away?

I'll be your princess.
Always and forever.

Even on my bad days. <3

Such Great Heights.

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and
When we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into
Corresponding shapes like puzzles pieces
From the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this
That catch my troubled head
When you're away, when I am missing you to death

When you were out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll stay

I've tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
Sounded thin upon listening

That frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll say...








I love you.
I'm talking to you on the phone.
And your voice... is guiding me home.
I feel at home.
I haven't felt this way in a really really really long time.
We... fit.
Make sense.
Correspond like puzzle peices.
we HARMONIZE.

Baby...
We just sound so good together.
Lets stay. ay. ay.

I love you.
I'll just say it.
Type it.
Sing it.
Scream it.


I love you.
And it's never felt so good. <3

Jump.

I can jump.
I know that I can.
but... I can't look down.
The edge of this cliff is like the edge of the world.
It's dark... I can't see.
Even if I did look, there would be no comfort.

I'm getting pushed in all directions.
pushed.
pushed.
pushed.

I need a running start.
I need baby steps.

I need a remote control.
FAST FORWARD.
REWIND.
PAUSE.
PLAY.
STOP.
STOP.
STOP.

These balloons aren't going to take me to heaven.
These balloons won't let me go to hell though.

My best friend is a balloon.
My parents are balloons, but sometimes they pop.
My art is a balloon.
This outlet right here is a balloon.
Keeping me above the surface, but on the ground.

And now the ground is shaking.
Shaking, shaking, shaking.
I am trembling.

Where are you now.
I used to have this hot air balloon...
Then I guess he ran out of gas.
He ran out of gas.
Ass...

And so I stand on the edge.
Balloons in hand.
And he says I'll fly.
She says I'll fall.
Some say I'll just float, mid-air.
And personally...
I think I'll dissaperate.
Disappear.
Step forward and turn.

Jump.

I just need to jump.
What have I got to lose?

Funny. Just about... EVERYTHING.


Jump.
Jump.
Jump.

Just another girl.

Honestly...
I'm just another girl.
What's so special?

How do I manage to entice you so? :)
Honestly...
I want to know.

Take everything I have. <3

You make me so happy. I could literally be with you for as long as I live. You aren’t a jerk, ever, and you are so sweet. I can’t get enough of you ever. I don’t have any idea how you do it, but you make me smile every second I’m with you. J Don’t tell anybody that, or do, I don’t care, you can But basically I’m just so happy you’re in my life and I am SO POSITIVE that YOU my dear, are my answered prayer. <3
For a while I didn’t know if I would feel like this again, cause I was too scared I guess, but now idk why, but you just seem to make me feel like I can again, so thank you J

You make me fly, and I would be honored\





























Yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<#333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2

The Key to My Heart.

Hey, can I have that key back?
I can't seem to let anyone else in.


Oh... I can't have it?
Well...
...
...Ummmm...


I don't really know what to do now.
You, uh, won't give it back...

What if I give you your key?
Oh wait... you never gave it to me...

Well...
uh...

Why won't you give me my key...?

...You lost it.

Well that's just peachy.

You didn't care enough to keep it safe?
Not even to keep track of it?

You lost it.

Well, thanks a lot.
Do you realize I'm screwed now?
Nobody else can get in.
I can't even get in.
I trusted you.

You can't even get in now!

Oh yeah, yes you can.
We installed that fingerprint scanner thing.
But... only for you.
And you don't even want in anymore.

You really lost it.
Thanks a lot.

Fyre, Fyre.

Fyre, Fyre. :)
This one's for you.
You know who you are.

Your heartbeat was so steady and strong...
Whist mine flutters weakly!
Your arms felt so wonderful around me.
Cuddled up in your chest...
I was so happy.
I AM so happy.

You and your poetic kisses...
Kiss me again.
Kiss me always.
I want to fall asleep in your arms.

Teddy bear, hold me tightly.
You are all that I've got.

Write me Happiness.
Write me Hugs.
Write me Kisses.
Write me Lullabies.
Write me Fyre.

You have completely taken over my thoughts.
I can only see you.
I can only hear you.
I can only feel you.
And... I love it.

I'm burning for you.
You're burning for me.
Lets burn, baby. :)

Surprise!
I'm much more than you bargained for.
Is it a good thing?
Am I okay?
I am who I am.
What you see is real.
What you see is true.
I am Me.
And Me, well, Me is happy.

ALL THANKS TO YOU!
Oh, Fyre, Fyre.
My heart.

I distract you.
Oh, How I distract you.
And you love it.
And I love it.

YOUR LIPS.
Don't even get my started...
My heart hadn't beat that fast in months.
So sweet and soft and tender...
But so strong and full of passion!
I could literally kiss you forever.
I really honestly literally could.

This isn't poetic at all.
But honestly, you make up for it :)
For after all, you are my Poet.
And I'm your Ballerina.

If you don't hurt me, I won't hurt you.
Freaking you... :)

I honestly have never been so surprised in my life.
You are so much more than just my Poet.
You are so much more than just my Teddy Bear.
You are so much more than just my Best Friend.

Thank you for that. :)

Musicbox

We are all a part of something.
Something small...
And we are all really nothing.
Our names will, one out of a billion trillion, not be remembered.
in about a century our great great great grandchildren
will not be able to figure out what our simple names were
for their family trees.

And it's a beautiful thing.
And it's a tragic thing.

I am the ballerina inside your musicbox.
The centuries spin by before I am allowed to have my moment again.
And then... You wind me up.
And I prepare myself to show you what I've got.
And then...

I can breath.
The light comes in.
And I'm alive.

And you watch me.

And you look at me with love.

And then...
And then...
You close the box.
And I am shoved back into my cave.
And slowly the music fades.
and I...

become nothing.
Insignificant.



And it's... tragic.
And it's... beautiful.

Moonlight Lover

He smiles.
I smile.
The moon smiles.

We dance to a song-
a song that I hum without care.
The notes slip between my lips
from... I don't really know where.

our lips embrace.
our hearts, they race.
I never want to leave this place.

You want to know how he did it?
He took a red cardboard heart.
A used red cardboard heart, I might add...
and he took a black sharpie.
he said, I'm tired of saying no.
will you be my lava baby?
And do you know what I said?
I said yes.
With a little black sharpie heart.

And we danced.

I blew the cloud in his mind away.
It was clogging the passageway to his heart.
I knew I had his heart... but he was so used to saying "no."
It was a pattern.
And I broke it.

That's what I'm here for- to break patterns.
to break rules.

But I won't break hearts.
I'll have mine broken maybe...
but I trust him.
I have to :)
He is my lava baby.

The moonlight kissed our hair and hearts.
and we let our feet touch the water
the ripples disrupted the moon's reflection-
and it was beautiful.

Then, we just jumped in.
In our clothes.

We threw our hands into the air and smiled.
I could not stop laughing- my tummy is tired still.
I've never been happier.
I've never felt so alive.
So alive.

We danced,
the water carried us.

The unsung tune is my number one hit.
I'm still singing it's silence.

He told me, "You look like an angel."
I said, "I am one."

I've never felt so alive.
I've never felt so alive.

The wind blew- we began to shiver.
I began to fall.
I began to give myself away.
Bit by bit, I felt my shattered heart form in an image of...
Him.
My lava baby.

and it scared me.
so... I danced.

and he made me smile.
and he tried to get it out of me...
but it wasn't until I had ahold of myself.

I said I was terrified.
I am terrified.

He said do not worry.
And do not hurry.

It's that damn L word again...
That trecherous.
that brutal.
that vicious.
that careless.
that dangerous.
that wonderful L word.

I've never felt so alive.
I've never felt so alive.

He held me in the moonlight.
Our lips danced.
I've never felt so alive.

The Poet.

Look at The Poet.
He looks at you...
and he thinks you don't notice.
But you do.
I do.
Poet, tell me.
Why be so silent? I love to hear you talk.
But... I understand.
The words on paper are much more.
Well thought, well planned, and safe.

You can't hurt me.
You can't hurt you.

You can erase it if it is wrong
You can bold it if it is right.

You can't erase that stupid comment.
You can't bold the warm hug.

He writes of fairy tales and happy endings.
He writes of children and playground swings.

He says he was infatuated with...
With me in my honest mess of myself.

The Poet.
He wrote ME a poem for just ME.
My eyes alone.
My eyes alone.

Simply telling me wasn't enough.

But, The Poet.
With his paper charm, and his lead kisses...
He writes upon my heart.
A poem of happiness in wishing.
I wish for anything that will bring happiness.
The Poet... brings me happiness.
And to him, I am grateful.
I can only wish I made him feel the same way...

Touch like fire

You have the spot
The spot on your hand- tells more than it looks.
Oh, your hands, so slenderly strong.
Mine, so slenderly weak.
Together we have strength.
Together we have something neither can explain,
and neither can complain.
It is...
touch like fire.
Something ignites under us,
and we begin to smolder.
Not a bright burning flame...
a white hot one.
Like lava, we flow.
We flow.
We flow.
It just... works so nicely.
Our lava fills the cracks in both of our hearts.
And... we let it cool.
And it hardens.
Strengthens.
And, with our touch like fire...
We can ignite it once again.
And slowly flow together, as this strange not togetherness.
What are we, exactly?
We were together then and there
but now we are not but are.
And, we continue to flow.
Effortlessly.
Completely effortless, this is.
And it's so comfy.
I feel so comfy in your arms.
Wrap them around me, my lava baby. :)
Lava baby.
Your hands are the molten rock around me.
Wrap around me, lava baby.
Fill in the cracks the others left.
You have that strange power.
And... I love it.
Fill me in, lava baby.
Your touch is like fire.
Our touch is like fire.
Our hands mold together quite lovely.
They do, you must admit so.

I'll be your lighthouse.

He is gone.

He is gone.

And now what do I do?
I wait.
I... shine.
I turn on my light once again
and I wait.
For what, I don't really know.
He came in splendor-
A flying ship with black sails
He landed on my shoreline and never left...
Until now.
And, my shoreline is empty.
So... I'll wait.
And I'll shine.
But the waters are so rough.
When he left, he took the calm with him.
Why would anyone land in this dreadful storm?
My dreadful storm...?
I am the storm.
I sigh- wind.
I cry- rain.
I yell- thunder.
I strike- lightning.
I wait.
I shine.
Come to me, I will not strike you.
I will not yell.
I will not cry.
Cradle yourself in my shore.
Without you, I am empty.
Fill me.
Shove your heart in the empty space where mine once resided.
Bring the calm with you.
I'm sick of raining.
I'm sick of thundering.
I want to kiss- sunlight.
But, I wait.
In the storm of me, I will wait.
And shine.
Always shining.

I want to be your moon

Why are they called shooting stars?
Not only are they meteors, but they are not shooting.
they are burning.
burning, burning, burning into nothing.
They will evaporate in the earth's atmosphere.
the earth is cruel.
These pieces of rock gave their lives to reach her.
And, she merely shattered them.
Am I the earth?
Or am I the meteor?
I would say I'd rather be the earth.
Beautiful, charming, attractive, and deadly.
Like the snake.
But, she has not a loving heart.
I have a lovin heart.
So does that make me the meteor?
Is he my planet?
I just want to reach is surface.
I merely want to trace his neck with my soft lips.
And, thus, I become the meteor.
No backbone, no strength, completely relying on the planet of which I desire.
I have a heart- and that is all.
Just a heart.
And it's burning.
Burning, burning, burning into nothingness.
Will you douse my heart?
Will you take the flame and stomp it out?
but be careful, for my heart is already suffering.
Will you hold it?
Will you let it land on your surface?
I just want a home.
I'm lost and wandering.
And the distance between the stars makes my belly raw.
They seem so close, yet they are completely unreachable.
So, reach your orbit around me.
Take my heart and keep it safe.
But, do not let me burn in your atmostphere.
and do not let me sit idle upon your surface.
I want to be safe but I never want to stop flying.
Take me as your moon.
Baby, I want to be your moon.
And I will give you light when you are surrounded by darkness.
And I will always be there, as will you be for me.

Honey, I want to be your moon.

It is spreading

This.
I just want this.
And, here I am again.
Losing it.
I don't know if I can really lose him.
He's everywhere. I'm the sun, and he's the universe around me.
If he left... What would I be left with?
FRIENDS.
I must continue to tell myself... You'll make it.
You'll make it.
You'll make it.
This has been building up.
Like a cancer, it just spread and multiplied.
And now, the body of our relationship is falling apart.
It's black and rotting.
And... I get it. He had to get out.
I thought I wanted out too... until I saw that our black and rotting relationship
Is the ground that I stand upon.
His support gets me though the hard days.
And... Its ending.
I can't even see his face... just thinking about it...
I want to break down.
I want to stay up here in this safe place where I don't have to see him,
because if I don't see him or hear his voice,
He can't leave me.
He can stay in my head.
He can stay in my heart.
Oh my God...



I can do this.
I can't do this.
I don't know.
I'm gonna need to be carried out of this pit.
I'm gonna need lots of support.
DON'T CRY.
DO NOT CRY.
Don't let one freaking tear stain your face.
I must repeat this.
Over, and over, and over, and over, and over...
DON'T CRY.
I cannot cry.
I will get through this!


I know it. I figured it out.
He's scared. He's just scared now.
I went off and did something dumb.
And he's immature- he doesn't know how to handle it.
And... If HE breaks up with ME, then it's okay for him to come running back...
He'll come back.
He will.
He's got to.
We have something so perfect...
HAD something so perfect...

He's gonna get hurt.
He's gonna think he has fallen for someone else..
and they'll BREAK HIS HEART.
The heart that I did my best to cradle and take care of.
They're just going to wreck it.

He won't find a girl like me.
Not anywhere.
There isn't one.
There's no more of me out there.
There's no more of me in here.
I think he took it with him....

DAMNIT!. I don't know if I can really do this.
I'm breaking up inside.
I'm ripping to shreds...
Black and rotting.
That's me.

I've got to go.
I've got to go get broken even more.
And, I'll be back.
Back to explain the hurt that is going on.
Back to give you the next diagnosis.
Tell you where else the cancer has spred.

Rain.

And when time runs out, I will ask myself- what have I done?
When I look back, will I smile? Will I cry?
It's not a question I can answer.
It's not a question anyone can answer.
And do I regret?
I have always told myself, never to regret.
Do I want this?
Do I really need this?
Am I just scared...
Scared of what?
Growing old and finding that it was all wrong.
Having children and seeing their faces reflect his.
Wishing that I had waited.
Wishing that I had mustered the guts to say that I'm not happy.
No, it would hurt.
It would hurt me, it would hurt him.
Would it hurt him?
I'd like to think that it would.
Although, I don't really think I mean much.
I am a pair of lips.
I am a pair of hands.
I am a pair of everything he wants.
And yet, what he wants isn't really me.
I am not any better than anyone else.
And any girl could suffice for his desires.
It's not my heart he wants.
It's not my thoughts.
No... it's not me.
I need someone who wants me.
Who needs me.
I want to feel needed.
I want to feel loved.
And most of all, I want to look back and smile.
I do not want to regret.
I do not want to cry.
Not anymore.
Not one more tear.
Please...
Rain, come back.
So I can blame the wetness of my cheeks on you.
So that you can cleanse my soul.
My unloved, untouched soul.
Tell me, rain.
Does he love me?
Do I assume just the worst?
Is this right?
Is this wrong?
where do we go.
Where do we go from here.
I am lost.

S.O.S.

S.O.S.

S.O.S.

Someone save me.
Tell me what is right or wrong.
Teach me to smile when I look back.
Teach me to hold back these tears.

Deathly Hallows

And thus, Harry Potter has ended.
He-who-must-not-be-named, Voldemort, lays dead on the groud.
Triumph! And tears.
Now what wizard can I follow?
What magical books can make my heart race?
Must I turn back to vampires?
Edward, Alice, and Bella.
NO! I refuse.
I will start again from the beginning- 7 books, all over again.
And they will make my heart race once more,
whether or not I know what will happen.
I miss you Harry- I pray that you love your happy ending.
I loved it. I did. :)

When the music is too loud, we will turn it up.
I feel like taking danger by the collar and kissing it.
Oh, rules. Rules, rules, rules!
Why are there so many rules?
We break them.
I break them.
Screw you, statistics. Love will prevail over you.
Do you think we mean everything we say?
Do you think that nobody lies or cheats?
You are right.
We don't lie.
We don't cheat.
We do what we feel, and we feel what we do.
Do not stare into his eyes, Medusa.
You will turn him to stone.
Blindfold yourself or you will lose him.
Will he hold your hand?
Will he kiss you?
Can you control your desires?
Is he disgusted by you, or is he in love?
You cannot tell. You cannot see.
Is he beautiful? I am sure that he is.
Black hair? Brown hair?
Blue eyes? Brown eyes?
Oh, he could be a monster!
He could hold your hand for a moment only to slice your neck the next!
Untie your safety net.
Let your eyes glance upon him.
Maybe... just a moment won't hurt.
Oh, his face is in terror! He is stone!
And it is done again.
Again, you break your rules.
Again, you lose everything you ever desired.
Let this be a lesson.
Do not take off your blindfolds- do not think past what you can handle.
You are not invinceable, the one you love can be hurt.
Your heart can rip to shreds.
My heart is ripped to shreds.
I unblindfolded myself.
I experimented with fate.
I crossed a line and lost everything.
And here I am, staring into his stone eyes wishing I had never done what I have done.
Who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates what I've done.
Please... love me again.
Please... melt this stone mess I have created back to flesh.
Living, breathing, pulsing flesh.