Rain.

And when time runs out, I will ask myself- what have I done?
When I look back, will I smile? Will I cry?
It's not a question I can answer.
It's not a question anyone can answer.
And do I regret?
I have always told myself, never to regret.
Do I want this?
Do I really need this?
Am I just scared...
Scared of what?
Growing old and finding that it was all wrong.
Having children and seeing their faces reflect his.
Wishing that I had waited.
Wishing that I had mustered the guts to say that I'm not happy.
No, it would hurt.
It would hurt me, it would hurt him.
Would it hurt him?
I'd like to think that it would.
Although, I don't really think I mean much.
I am a pair of lips.
I am a pair of hands.
I am a pair of everything he wants.
And yet, what he wants isn't really me.
I am not any better than anyone else.
And any girl could suffice for his desires.
It's not my heart he wants.
It's not my thoughts.
No... it's not me.
I need someone who wants me.
Who needs me.
I want to feel needed.
I want to feel loved.
And most of all, I want to look back and smile.
I do not want to regret.
I do not want to cry.
Not anymore.
Not one more tear.
Please...
Rain, come back.
So I can blame the wetness of my cheeks on you.
So that you can cleanse my soul.
My unloved, untouched soul.
Tell me, rain.
Does he love me?
Do I assume just the worst?
Is this right?
Is this wrong?
where do we go.
Where do we go from here.
I am lost.

S.O.S.

S.O.S.

S.O.S.

Someone save me.
Tell me what is right or wrong.
Teach me to smile when I look back.
Teach me to hold back these tears.