Empty

If there was a list, your name would be the only one occupying it.
"A list of those that you gave every single bit of your heart to."
And I found that the empty space you have left
has become a vacuum.
And it is sucking every emotion out of me.
Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
But I had to, every other option was another hole.
Another valley.
Another grand canyon.

I wanted everything to work out.
But kisses don't heal anything.
Lips are only band-aids.
They cover up the true depths of the wounds we carve into one another.
And you've cut me to the bone.

And I can't will myself to give up on you.
Even football fields away from you
I would be screaming my unconditional love.
It doesn't matter how many times you send your self-defense
to take me down and out,
I will keep trying to get a touch down in the game that is
Hate vs. Love,
Broken vs. Whole,
Apathetic vs. Emotional,
You vs. Me.

When did it become a game of pain?
You saw my love by seeing how much I bled
when you took that love and injured it.
Too bad this process took everything that I had
and scattered the pieces across a field.

And now I'm left to run in circles putting myself back together.

Neither of us won.
And hurting you created a hurricane in me that is growing every day.
Its stirring my innermost emotional defenses
and slowing turning me to stone.

But in the eye of this stone storm is the love for you that I can't stop screaming.
Not for the life of me.

And the storm will not calm.
The screaming will not stop.
The love will not fade.

I feel like this game can't possibly be over.